B-52
Last nite, I'm sitting at my computer in the dark when all of a sudden I hear zzzzzzzzzzt, followed by a thump. WTF??? Then I see it. On the side of my computer monitor. A B-52.
No, not the musical group. I'm talking HUGE, scary airborne insect. Never mind that it has wings, the fact that it flies is unnatural and against all laws of nature. Of course, I read once somewhere that they can live without their heads for a week before dying. YIKES!!! Even decapitated, they can attack! It's straight out of a monster movie.
Sorry, back to my story. A fri**en' B-52! Giant flying cockroach! I freeze in panic, then I flee. In the hall, I realize that I must be brave and hunt it down otherwise, I will be haunted by its gross, hairy and disgusting presence every night until it is dead. I run to the kitchen to search for something to kill it with. Since it's airborne, I need spray. So I find Lysol cleaner in a spray bottle. Armed, I return to my room to search for the beast. And there it is – on the wall, in the corner, near the top. Crap. Spray bottle is not strong enough to reach him, so I decide that the strategy is to wait until it is near the door and then shoot it. He gets near the door and I trap myself in the room. Ready, aim… CRAP. It takes flight. Straight AT ME! In slow motion, I watch as it approaches. I fire my weapon and then charge the door to escape while showering myself with cleaner. Smart, I know…
Once in the hallway, I bravely look inside the room. It’s on the computer table again. So I dart into the room, spray the monster and run like hell out of the room and shut the door.
I sigh in relief. Then I go to bed. This morning when I opened the room door—it’s nowhere to be seen.
Crap.
My mood: almost amused, except that there’s a monster on the loose?